Monday, June 20, 2011

Week Two, although a little late

This posting comes in a few days late, as we ended our second week of classes up here last week. And during a media talk last week, essentially a big networking event for the students to meet as many industry professionals as we could, one of our industry advisers made a comment that filled me both with hope and anxiety. He said that every one of us will have a job within a year, maybe a year and a half. But the challenge is to find the job that we will enjoy. That is the sort of thing that makes me feel a little better about what I'm doing right now. After all, he's the one who has been speaking to the program for six years, so he is in a good position to speak to the graduation rates.

I go back and forth on how I feel about ending this program and entering the work force. Some days, I am completely psyched up and chomping at the bit to apply for jobs at book publishers and rock out the job as an editorial assistant. And on other days, I'm hit with waves of panic about being 30 and trying to break into a completely new industry where I have little experience and only very loose connections. And in moments like that, I wonder if I made a mistake by leaving my city and abandoning my career. When the panic from these moments subsides, I try to reexamine the decisions that led me to this point. Do I wish I could go back to my former life? In some ways, yes. But do I have faith that my new life is going to be more satisfying? In many ways, yes. And that faith is the scariest part, since I have no actual evidence that things will be any different on the other side of this program. All I can do is do the best I can, and have faith that things will work out in my favor. I try to maintain that confidence, and it is only in small ways that I lose that faith.

So I remember to breathe, I listen to the music from Superman, and I try to make the next day even more productive. I have faith, and I have confidence, and I'll bring them both forward with me. One step at a time.

1 comment:

Abbie G said...

My dad went to college, got married, got a BS in biology/zoology (in that order), had two kids, and still didn't know what to do in his late 20s. Finally, a series of fortuitous events led him to dentistry. He graduated at the top of his class from WVU dental school in his early thirties and now is looking forward to retirement, after a very successful career. You have a direction, and it seems like you're really into it. Being older can be a serious advantage - you know what you want and need not be distracted. To be a total musical theatre nerd about it - you'll be good! you'll be great! you'll have the whole world on a plate! ;>) I wish you all the best! Enjoy NYC - I miss it often.